SPECTRUM

Moms are special!

2010-09-10T03:32:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know, everyone would say that. But it's a different thing to experience it altogether.

Last night I was sleeping with my mom on one side and my sister on the other. Suddenly in the middle of the night I woke up with a start.
I started looking around like a baboon. You know, staring at my sister as if I don't know where I am. And I still don't remember what made me wake up. A bad dream probably?

Anyway, my mother on seeing me all sweaty scolded my sister- "You hit her!" And then she did something that I'll cherish my whole life.
She said to me as if i was a li'l kid- "it's okay.. it's okay... Go to sleep." And then she hugged me and I went to sleep again.

Even though I am a 21 year old adult I wish my mom would hug me the same way everyday.
But i dare not tell her lest she becomes conscious of it.
These things are best done spontaneously, especially mom's love.

That is why moms are special. For no matter how old you get, you'll always be their li'l girl!
Love you mom! I just wish I could express this to you someday..

Laughter is infectious.

2010-08-28T06:21:00.000-07:00

Had a rough start to the day. You know, like one of those that you would easily want to forget.

So I left the house angry as hell, which by the way is my trademark.
But then it is in these strange moments that i realised that you can find happiness wrapped in small packages.

I took my seat in the metro and at the next station a li'l girl came and sat next to me with her mother.
As much as i dread kids, she left no stone unturned in making me hate her. She was jumping, screaming, looking out of the window exclaiming at every passing tree- "OOH! What's that!". To top it all she was standing on the seat!
At that moment I gave her an angry stare. Why the hell was she leaning on me anyway?

But then she did a very strange thing. She looked at me, sealed her lips, and put one finger on each of her cheeks.
Now that was weird!

She did the same thing when I stared angrily at her for the second time. What a retard, I thought.
So then I asked her mother what is she doing?

Her mother started smiling and looking at her said- "She's trying to control her laughter. ise hansi aa rahi hai."

And I went- "What?!"
I looked at her and then she suddenly burst out laughing!

I tried to maintain that angry look but Alas! her laughter caught me as well.
The way she was laughing it made me laugh as well.
And was she laughing! She was literally falling on the floor! And so it became a chain.
First, she was laughing then I was, then her mother and eventually the whole coach was.

Hence I said- laughter is infectious! :)

The sound of wind

2010-01-26T03:28:00.000-08:00

I didn't know the sound of wind sounds so good.
Sometimes you need time for what the pundits would call it "introspection".
I was on the roof, headphones on.
I could feel the wind blowing, and banging against my ears and headphones it sounded different.
*swish.. swish...
Though it sounds kiddish but it was like somebody talkin to you.
On normal days I would have been really afraid. (I have had an excess of The 3 Grudges, Dead Silence and Paranormal Activity!)
But this time it was different. It might as well have been the wind talking to me, I wouldn't know.
But it sure did made me turn my music off.And somehow the sound of wind sounded more musical than the music in my phone. I was on the edge of the roof (No, I wasn't going to jump off) and I could see quite some distance.
Looking down made me feel I could fly.. Like you have those images as kids. I remember watching Shaktiman made a lot of kids believe that if they fall he's going to come flying and save them.
But nah! This wasn't about somebody saving me.
This was about feeling liberated.
Like one of those moments when you're by yourself. You can't think of a solution but at that moment you don't think of the problem as well.
You've lost the world but you've found yourself.
Although it's just a moment but it makes up for all your lifetime...

The Rain Dance

2009-06-13T01:04:00.001-07:00

Raindrops on the window pane. a hot cup of tea in my hands. Head rested on the window. Curtains drawn aside. Trees bathing in the rain. Wind blowing and I can see the leaves dancing.

A smile cuts across my face.

I can see the kids dancing away in the rain, half-naked. Wish I could go too. I want to. They call out to me.

Am I going? Certainly not. I don't like rain. Or that's what I've been telling myself all these years. How can anyone like the rain? Stupid. Yes, that's what it is.

But what harm can a little jig do? I can capture it inside. I look down. I should get up. Maybe I can dance too. Besides no one is watching. I'll get up give my waist a little twist and sit down. Yes, that's what I'll do.

As I try to get up, my better half comes in. "It's raining outside, want to go for a ride?"

I thank God that i didn't try dancing in front of him. "Yes, of course." I give a smile and he comes and keeps the crutches besides me for me to stand.
We are going for a long drive....

My identity

2008-10-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

lost in the mad rush of life,
i'm just another person,
trying to find her space.

had heard;
if wishes were horses,
beggars would ride.
but there are no horses.

just the beggar,
watching others steal, snatch,
in trying to get what they want.

i had my principles high,
and so i am the beggar.

i've seen the king,
and i've seen the slaves.
how much time did the ing take,
to turn from slave to king is all i wonder.

last i knew he was an ordinary man,
he knew some ordinary people,
who wanted to be the king as well.

now they are the slaves.

if this is what a king is,
i'm happy to be a beggar.
but someday i hope,
i'll turn into a king,
with no slave left,
to trample over.

A WALK OF LONLINESS....

2008-04-27T03:23:00.000-07:00

Walkin through the lonely street,
I look back.
I’ve been walkin alone for too long now,
Maybe I should stop.

I stop, & I look around,
But I see no-one.
People I wished were walking with me,
are long gone.

I shout for a name,
A name to cling to.
But I get no answers.
All I get is an echoing silence,
Ringing through the air.

I look up at the night sky,
How I wish darkness would soon fade away.
But I know,
This darkness is here to stay.

And So I start walking again,
Knowing it’s a walk of despair.
I look in front now,
& I again find no-one.
People I wished were walking with me,
are long gone.

A NIGHTMARISH EXPERIENCE!

2008-04-08T03:21:00.000-07:00

Me, my sis & my dad had gone off to some place.
When we arrived at the home we had taken on rent, i got to know that the rent is really low, they'll provide us with all the food & everything.
It was a one room flat on the first floor, and the land-lords lived on the ground floor.
When we settled inside our small room, the first thing i asked dad was that how come no-one occupied this room earlier if its so cheap. Dad took it casually & said how do i know.. must be something..
Then the night fell, & we all went to sleep. Since it was a single room, so we had got a folding spread out in the room, & my sis & me slept on it, while my dad slept on the bed.
When everything was still & we had peacefully gone off to sleep, i suddenly heard voices. To be precise, i heard a lady singing in a haunting voice in our room!!!
We were sleeping with quilts spread out all over our head, & so i peeped out from inside to take a look.
What i saw was a lady standing inside our room, in a white saree.
i was alomst dead!
i dont know how i got a bit courage & I whispered to my dad: Dad, there's someone in our room!!"
Dad said-"Stop imagining things & go back to sleep."
& so i tried to stay still listening hard to that haunting voice & also keeping a look at her.
But then what happened froze me! At the next instant what happened was that lady looked at the place where i was lying and decide to come towards me. i thought i am dead!!
She stood next to where my head was. i froze! and i closed my eyes in terror.
She lightly lifted the quilt, and peeped inside. I thought if i act as if i'm sleeping & i havent seen her then she might go away.
& that is exactly what happened. She saw my eyes closed, gave one last fleeting look, & went away.
For a few seconds I couldnt gather up my strength to say anything!!
I was too happy to be alive.... & started thanking god with all my might!!
& while i was chanting God's name i heard bells ringing around me. i felt as if God himself is here to save me!! To give me strentgh!!
The bells started getting louder & louder.... and i heard voices and then i realised I was in my room sweating profusley with the alarm clock ringing at its top-most voice.....
I thought oh! Thankgod it was dream!!

But then, was it really?? Keep wondering, while i myslef try to figure it out..... ;)